Who am I? The girl behind the writings? I’m sure you’re curious to a degree. That’s a rather simple question with a very complex answer. So let me try and explain it…
I am… a mother, a birth mother, an adoptee, a foster care alumni… I have experienced child abuse (physical, mental, emotional, and sexual), incest (by multiple family members), rape (multiple friends of the family), date rape (several years before I turned 18, which resulted in a pregnancy and subsequent adoption), child prostitution, domestic abuse, and so much more. I have experienced, I have survived, and now I share my story in the hopes that other children don’t have to go through the living hell that I had to go through.
I am a femme identified lesbian. I am out to all those around me, and I don’t hide in the closet either. I’m a strong supporter of equal rights for the GLBT community. I’m involved in an exclusive, monogamous relationship with a butch identified lesbian. I believe strongly in the butch/femme dynamics (though I show no judgement for your choices if it’s butch/butch, femme/femme, ftm/femme, ftm/butch, ftm/ftm, etc)… ]and as ironic as it may sound, June Cleaver is my role model 
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I am someone who knows, someone who cares, and someone who actually really does give a damn about the things that go on both around and in my life. This is WordPress folks. It’s not my entire life, or even a fifth of what goes on in. You got questions about what you see here or about something you don’t see? I’m sure I have answers. All you have to do is ask. Just remember your manners when doing so!
Friends consider me to be an open book. I’ll answer any question you present me with if I know the reasons you’re asking it are valid. Dreamer. Believer. Lover. Friend. Sister. Daughter. Confidant. Mother. Beloved. Keeper. Sounding board. Traveler. Imaginative. Creative. Dark. A dreamer, a realist. Intense. Awestruck. Compassionate.
I seek out extremes. I possess a very open mind and a sly sense of humor. I’m outgoing. Seriously right brained. I take pictures. I work hard and I play hard. I’ve got a deep wild streak, but I walk the line too, yah? I’m freaky, but in a good way. I love art, literature, film, fashion, graveyards, kind gestures, giving and getting. I travel.
I’m willing to be friends with those who have an open enough mind to be a friend to me. I’m not going to fit into your box, so I hope that you can accept me the way that I am. Me? I’ll accept and love you for exactly who and what you are. I’m looking for those who inspire me as I inspire them. Those who believe in me as I believe in them… Those people who care about their friends just as I will care about them.
At the end of the day though folks, I am me. Nothing less, nothing more… Just me. I’m just another person out there struggling to overcome my past, survive, move on, and make the best out of my crazy, fucked up, insane life…
You for got to mention: You are a strong, brave, courageous survivor!!!
Have your written a follow-up regarding the placement of your child? What is the current status with the adoption?
I was impressed with your story and your telling of it. You write very well. If you be interested in obtaining a review copy of THE STORK MARKET: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry, please send me your address and I will send you a copy.
Mirah
Although I would like to say that we come from the same past life, and we are traveling in the future together. And we want to let the world know that we have lived this life, and we made it through. I applause myself and you, but we forgot to mention beyond the boldness that we’ve encounter from a problematical life, that there is a weakness that surfaces us and is preventing us from moving on. And that’s why we are here. We are looking for our brothers and sisters. The ones who are suffering in silence and we want them to come journey with us, because for the first time in our life we look in the mirror and we can see the person who we really are, the person who we always believe we were. And we are breathing, breathing the same air as the rest of the world. But most importantly, we are at a point, where we know how to beat the “thing” that has kept us down this long, and that is realizing that “your obvious weakness is your greatest strength.” And that is something that the “thing” can not take from us. It’s the realization of knowing that the only love worth living for is the love from your self. You are not alone, and yes you are a diamond in the sky. You have found one of your sister “me” and I will stay on this side of the path because of someone like you. I invite you to check out my blog on http://www.emotionsi.wordpress.com (please use the drop down menu), feel free to post a comment, share a story, or idea, and help me find, and help others. I just want them to know it’s possible, and someday the pain will end, but we got to believe and stand up to the past. Hope to hear from you. Stay strong
This is an amazing blog which I happened to stumble upon my accident. It’s amazing that you can share your story.
I have never had the guts to share mine, hiding behind the comfortable persona which I have created for the web. I salute you for your bravery, your love for your dogs and for being you and sharing with people.
That’s truly the best gift.
Thank you.
Alyssa (not out, but saved)