A Family That Doesn’t Care

With the exception of a very few (ahem, two) members of my biological family, the rest seem to either not care, or really would rather that I simply not exist. It doesn’t matter that I’ve done so much to improve my life. It doesn’t matter that it was THEM, not me, that allowed me to be bounced all over the foster care system when none of them would step forward and take me.

This has, unfortunately, been proven time and time again. Some of you know, many of you don’t… Just recently, I was hit with a diagnosis. Two months later, what started out as being only 1/4 affected, was 100% affected. The gastro doctor said he had never seen it spread so fast in someone so young. Less than 0.1% of the population gets to suffer along with me thankfully. In May, I spent 5 days in the hospital… in June, I spent I think it was 13…

Two were up there daily… the rest? I think maybe popped up twice? Now, granted, I wasn’t dying, or even close… Though, honestly, some days I felt like it. During the second stay, I had numerous surgical and medical procedures done… It wasn’t a fun stay for me. They had to retrain my body during those two weeks to trust food again because my body had been rejecting food. I’m not kidding when I say it took 11 days for me to be able to keep down anything more than chicken broth. One night, I told a nurse not to bring me anything unless it came from a cow… she brought me beef broth… At least the nurses had a sense of humor!

Anyways… Where was I going? Ah yes… Just recently, another family member had to have a minor procedure done at the hospital… It was an in/out thing, that would only take about 4-6hrs from checking in to signing out…… I-Kid-You-Not… EIGHT family members showed up to sit there and be there. Numerous other family members kept calling and checking to see how they were doing and how everything was going. You know how many phone calls I got from other family members? None…Btw, that family member is perfectly fine. Just sayin…

Now, I’m out of the hospital now, but that doesn’t mean I’m fine by a long boat. My diagnosis will stay with me for the rest of my life. I’ll be the first to stand here and say that I am non-compliant with my medications. Why? Because the only medication (Asacol) that works, that actually stabilizes this (as there is no cure) at the dosage requirements set out by the doctor costs over $2000.00 per month (and no, that isn’t a typo). That’s just for ONE of the prescriptions. Throw in the other two, and we’re looking at about $2250.00 a month.

Now, granted, some drug companies will give you a grant or even at times give you the medication for free if you can’t afford it… The company that manufactures Asacol offers you a $50 rebate if you can’t afford the medication. Yep, that’s right. Fifty bucks to help with that $2000.00 prescription. Now, if I can’t afford $2k, do you really think $50 is going to help? Yeah… Anyways, and needless to say, they weren’t very nice about offering that either. Then again, who can blame them… They have a very high in demand, much needed medication… But anyways…

I work TWO jobs. Part-time at both (25-35hrs at each per week). Both offer insurance, but the insurance they offer is, quite frankly, crap. Both insurances cost about $90.00 each a month. Both have a cap on medication of… get this… $400 a YEAR. The insurance company will only cover $400 in medication each YEAR. Even both of them combined wouldn’t touch that one medication for a MONTH. Then, they only cover 3 dr’s visits a year with a $35 co-pay at each, the rest you have to pay for completely out of pocket. Oh, and surgical procedures (which one thing my gastro now requires yearly due to the condition and seriousness), the insurance company only covers $4,000.00 combined between the two. Yep… This procedure, costs way more than that, let’s just leave it at that, mmmk?

So yeah, in my opinion, it’s not worth the $200.00 a month to get the insurance through my work, and even if it was… ready for this… NO PRE-EXISTING conditions allowed for the first year. Yep. And don’t even get me started on private insurance. Totally, 100% not even worth it. They won’t cover pre-existing conditions at all, and if they do, you’re looking at $900-1200.00 a month just for the insurance… Yeah.

So why am I telling you all this? Oh yes… that’s right… a family that doesn’t care… So I sit here suffering… I work two jobs and I could end up in the hospital again at any time due to not being on needed meds that help calm things down and the severity of this condition… and still, the family sits by and shrugs saying “Oh well, you’ll go to the hospital if it gets bad enough”. Last time I checked, the ER wasn’t for continuous on-going care… but anyways… They’ll tell me this while they turn around and support (financially) another family members drinking, smoking, and drug habit who doesn’t do anything other than sit on their butt all day watching tv and complaining about how hard the world is and how mean everyone is and that there’s just no darn jobs out there yada yada yada…

Yep, isn’t it nice to know how un-important I am? Someone elses drugs (ahem illegal) are more important to provide for, than to help the person who is busting their ass working two jobs who has a bonafied medical need

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About Once Lost

Late 20s lesbian. Adoptee, foster care survivor, birthmom, rape survivor, childhood abuse survivor, domestic violence survivor, child prostitution survivor... You name it... I'm surviving. One step at a time...
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7 Responses to A Family That Doesn’t Care

  1. Lee says:

    Not only does your family’s lack of caring and emotional support suck, but the medical situation in our country does too. I wish there was a better solution. I know it is a long shot but have you thought about doing something like calling your senator or congressman (or woman) or something like that. As much as drug companies don’t want to lose their profit they also kind of want to look like they care (even when they really don’t.) Just throwing it out there cuz i really want you to be healthier.

  2. Deb says:

    Denials for pre-existing conditions is one thing that the health care reform law is supposed to be doing away with (I actually thought it was already gone, but looked it up just now and looks like pre-existing condition clauses are just illegal for kids now — will become illegal for adults too in 2014.)

    In the meantime, there is this government program to help cover the gap for people whose pre-existing conditions are not covered https://www.pcip.gov/ I don’t know whether that would be an option for you or not.

    In our hospital, there is a patient financial office that helps people figure out what coverage they may qualify for. I don’t know if you have such a thing where you are or not. By ALL means, let your doctors know that you are having a hard time affording your medications. There may be another alternative medication or another pathway to getting cheaper medications. This sounds much too serious to go without.


  3. Sunday says:

    I am so sorry; I have watched this kind of stuff happen in my own “family” for a long time. Over. And. Over. Again. It is not you it is them…it really is. I hope you get some relief soon.

  4. michelle says:

    It sucks being female. I know where you’re coming from. I’m going to law school now even as I battle a chronic condition with no insurance. I’ve struggled through school after surviving incest, rape, domestic violence and being treated very poorly. One would think that overcoming all these issues is enough for something so simple like a hug. No, nothing. But I see, like you, my other male siblings who are drugged out or drunk, have been arrested or married 3 times…yet they’re always being worshiped and praised. I’m starting to think it’s because people can’t handle females. Just do everything to keep them down in the dumps. I hope you feel better.

  5. Patricia says:

    Our society rewards people for not caring. It is unfortunate, and true, there are alot of crummy, uncaring people, and when we write them out of our lives and stop expecting anything from them, we are better off! God will provide for the rest of us good folk.

  6. rissryker says:

    Unfortunately, I am going through the same thing with my family and I know exactely how you feel. If I fell off the edge of the earth and disappeared, I don’t think anyone would care or even notice…and though you can write them out of your life, as Patricia suggests, it doesn’t do anything to stop the pain of being alone…

  7. Jay says:

    Fortunately a few members of my family care about me, but it is obvious that most do not. I am sorry about your medical condition an that few of your family members seem to care about your well-being. I would suggest you do what most black sheep like me do and find your own way. Your own friends and support group that will appreciate you for who you are, and not your family who do not appreciate you for you are and only by your achievements and contributions to your family. Your allies are those who support you, not what you live up to.

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